Mr. FE’s Accountant and Facing My “What If” Fears

When it was confirmed this past January that I had a small pancreatic tumor, I became anxious. I am a high-strung individual to begin with and hearing this didn’t help. But I’m not worried about me. Modern medicine has come a long way and we caught it early. It’s Mr. FE I’m concerned about. Mainly because the man knows NOTHING ABOUT MANAGING MONEY!

You see, Mr. FE is not dumb.

Over the years he has worked his way up to a cushy job and earns a decent paycheck with benefits. He’s onboard with frugality. He can strike up a conversation about sports, philosophy or world events. He’s never lost a round of trivial pursuit. He has successfully organized and hosted some major fundraisers.

When it comes to our marriage, Mr. FE is not a lazy man. He takes care of the maintenance around the house and has no problem pitching in to do laundry, shopping, meal prep or general housework.

But when it comes to managing our finances FORGET ABOUT IT!

Before Mr. FE and I got married his finances were a mess. He never opened his paychecks. He used to let them pile up on his bedroom bureau. These were live checks, I tell you! Just sitting and collecting dust. His mind was blown when I told him about this thing called DIRECT DEPOSIT.

I could go for one of these right now.

Mr. FE used to tell our family and friends that we were “meant to be”. Not because he believed in sappy things like I was his soulmate, but because I was an accountant and could balance his checkbook. He used to brag about being able to get his taxes done for free.

Fast forward 17 happily married years later and NOTHING HAS CHANGED!

Mr. FE has paid close to ZERO attention with how I handle the household finances. He forgets who we use for a bank. He doesn’t look at a single bill. The MAN HAS NO IDEA who even supplies our water!

  • WHAT IF my health deteriorates over the coming years and I can’t keep doing the finances?
  • WHAT IF he doesn’t remember we have a life insurance policy?
  • WHAT IF the house burns down and he has no idea who insures the home?
  • WHAT IF we have another financial crisis and our bank completely collapses? He wouldn’t even know it!

So, we’ve had THE talk.

I told him that he NEEDS to start paying attention to our household finances in case something happens to me. But I got denial. Instead, he told me I’m being ridiculous, my health will be fine, and I’m not going anywhere.

I give up.

I surrender.

White flag and all.

There is no use.

The way I see it, I am left with only three choices: 1) Stay healthy 2) Take Valium 3) Find him another accountant!


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